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man and cup

x-MEN First Class Fic: Playback

Posted on 2011.09.17 at 19:36
Aurthor: Iatethebunny
Pairing: Armando/Alex
Disclaimer: not in any way mine.. wish they where I would do good things with them.
Note: This is an AU verse not the movieverse but they were still superheroes. I plan to write more in this verse. This is unbetaed sorry in advance for the mistakes.
Summery Armando died, 8 months, 3 weeks, four days and 17 hours. Alex thinks he is dealing. This is not a deathfic.


Playback
I kick off the sheets, roll on my side and open my eyes. The apartment is to quiet. I've been lying here for over an hour thinking about moving, I have to get up and go to work, I keep telling myself that, trying to make it matter. I close my eyes, sit up, rub a hand over my face. The phone rings. I ignore it, I know it’s Sean calling to make sure I'm still alive. He thinks I'm taking this all very badly. I am, I guess, I wouldn't know.
I stand under the flow of water, hot always hot, it takes me some time before I remember I have to do more than stand there. I scrub myself down, half heartily wash my hair, shut off the shower, shave, brush my teeth. I avoid my eyes in the mirror, I hate the look of them. I dig around in my closet for clothing, ignoring the right side of the closet, the clothes there are too big for me. I find a clean shirt on a hanger, a pair of jeans without a stain on the floor, I pull them on, sneakers without socks, I can never find socks they vanish in to cracks and shadows. I grab, shades, keys, wallet, bag and head out. I work because I have to, I can't lose the apartment, it took too much to get it. So I drag myself down to the comic book store 8 hours a day, four days a week, to pay for an apartment I never wanted.

When I get in to work Sean is already there, over caffeinated bouncing off the walls. He smiles when he sees me and trails after me to the backroom, I rest my bike against the wall, dump my bag in a bin. Sean stands around watching me, hands shoved in the front pocket of his jeans try to look defenseless.
"You actually came in on time."
"I had nothing better to do."
"Well that’s cool, whatever. You coming out tonight? Raven is back from school we're all going out for some celebratory drinks"
I move past him heading back into the main room.
"I'll think about it."
He gives me a look like he knows I am avoiding saying no even though I mean no, it’s always no.
"She really wants to see you, everyone does."
"I said maybe."
He puts up his hands in a sign of surrender.
"Kay no pushing."
The bell above the door jingles as a customer comes in, Sean turns to greet them. I turn away and let out a breath. Sometimes I listen to myself and wonder why I am being such an asshole, it’s not like I can stop myself even when I am aware of it.
The day passes, I help customers pick out comic books full of over glorified heroes in thighs. There is no truth to be found there, it’s all fantasy, the only thing helping others gets you is death. I only make it 6 hours before it gets to be too much. I grab my bike and leave. Sean let's me go with a frown. I know he will be over later and maybe I will even talk to him.

The apartment is not empty. I rest my bike against the wall, lock the door behind me. I turning on all the lights as I move through the house. The bathroom door is ajar. It’s almost silent, a still nervous empty sound, I hear dripping water. I brace myself, shove the door open. He's there sitting in a tub over flowed with water, just sitting there, eyes closed, a frown on his face. I stumble out of the bathroom into the hall, I catch myself against the wall and run into our room. I did not believe Hank when he said it could happen, possible would happen, I wanted to believe so badly, couldn't make myself do it. I fall hit my head against the wall and stay there on the floor curled up by our bed. Than he is there standing in front of me naked, beautiful, so fucking beautiful, whole, water falling off his smooth brown skin, concern write all over his face, alive. He kneels there beside me, reaches out a hand to touch my face, traces the line of my jaw, I hear my own shallow desperate breathing.
"Alex"
"Fuck" I lean forward let him drag me up, I wrap my arms around his neck pulling myself into his arms, I press kisses against warm flesh, he is real, this is real. He pulls away enough to look at me.
"You’re crying"
"You fucking died Armando. You were really fucking dead, blown to the ends of the earth. Hank said there was a chance you would come back and I wanted to believe, wanted it so bad it hurt but it’s been months, fucking months but you're here now, really here."
He nods, let's me run my fingers over his face, he kisses the palm of my hand. I suck in a shaky breath and kiss him, push all my worry, fear, doubt into it, he kisses back, cradles my face in his big hands, holds me like I'm precious, always have been to him, he pulls away, drags us to our feet.
"How long have I been gone?"
"8 fucking months"
"I'm sorry Alex."
"Never again."
He gives me a tight smile, eyes serious, focused.
"No never again."
I let him strip me of my clothes till I’m as naked as he is. I run my hands over his shoulders, down his arms, over his hips, I cling to him, press my face against his neck, inhale the heavy familiar smell of him. He lifts me, rests me there between our sheets, he lies down next to me, curving his body around mine, his arms holding me against him, I tangle out legs together, press my face to his chest. I lay in the silence listening to the sounds of our bodies working in sync.

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